Saturday, November 20, 2010

Lies! Lies, I Tell You!

So it's garbage like this that really makes the skin on my overly-large hands crawl:

"The Microsoft Windows Phone 7 has been on sale for close to two weeks and other than first days sales of 40,000 units, we have not heard any other information about the success of the phone. Steve Balmer keeps saying it is off to a great start. Without providing number to back up those claims, one has to wonder whether it is selling even close to the internal predictions they had."

First, as I told you on the SUPERSITE FOR WINDOWS!, that "40,000" number is complete bullshit, sorry. Someone pulled a number out of their ass, and the rest of the tech industry, which can't get anything right because Microsoft doesn't feed them press releases they don't do their research, reports it as if it's a fact. It's not.

Second, the author of this "news" story can't even spell "Ballmer" right. It's not "BALMER". It's spelled B-A-L-L-M-E-R. Or, if you need a helpful mnemonic device, "Bad-Ass Lame Loser Monkey-Eating Reject". Obviously. Ballmer isn't releasing numbers because he's a humble guy. Not everyone knows this about him, but it's true. Microsoft has more class than any other company on the planet and they don't want to gloat.

Third, the magical tear-inducing Windows Phone 7 Phone is perfect in every way. It's a game-changer. All you druid-using iPhoneys will eventually come to see this, particularly when Microsoft reclaims the tablet market when it introduces its iPad killer with this fantastic software.

Just you wait. Prosperity is just around the corner. Obviously.


Anonymous said...

Hey Pauly!!! How's it going BIG fella? I see you wrote a new article on you Windows! Supersite! Obviously! you think Microsoft can obviously fix the tear inducing Windows Phone 7? Wow...really? I thought the thing was perfect.

Not Paul said...

Dear Anonymous:

Thank you for your thoughtful and interesting comments. Since I've shut down public discourse over on THE SUPERSITE FOR WINDOWS, I'll be relying on your comments and those of others like you to make this site the new home for All Things Windows. Thank you for stopping by.

And the Magical Tear-Inducing Windows Phone 7 Phone is perfect. Just as it always will be. Obviously.