Thursday, February 3, 2011

That Fracking Weasel

God, I hate David Pogue.

My obsession with him is almost as bad as my Steve Jobs obsession. What is it about Apple that draws such obnoxious, obsequious little twerps into its orbit? Seriously, I've spilled more ink over Pogue than any other columnist, and it infuriates me that he not only has his own column, but his own TV show, regularly appears on CNBC, has authored a series of books for both the Mac and Windows platforms that probably far outsell my own superior efforts, a blog, and God knows what else.

And he doesn't know a damn thing about tech. I'm the only one that does. Well, me and Rob Enderle. And sometimes Mary Jo Foley (who still rebuffs my drunken advances). I've been screaming this from the rooftops for years, and no one will listen. It sickens me. My overly-large gorilla hands are shaking as I write this, that's how angry I am.

It's a messed up world. Maybe once I lose all the weight I'm going to lose this year on my new diet that consists of fatty foods and not exercising, I'll be able to compete with this jerk.

Oh, and John Gruber doesn't know a damn thing, either, especially when it comes to the iPhone. Obviously.


Alexandra said...

Pogue probably eats carbs while he's drafting his techno-pablum. Which means you will outlive him and ultimately triumph in the end.

Not Paul said...

Alexandra, that's an excellent point.

Anonymous said...

Can't stand you Paul. Or Pogue. Pogue is a wife beating twofaced phony crook. You're the biggest schizzo-hypocrite tech writer ever. You criticize ms and it's ok. Anyone else does and it's like we're talking about your boyfriend.

And you're still fat and obnoxious. You were clearly beaten early and often throughout grade-school, junior high, and high school. "super" site? Are you serious?

Not Paul said...

"Anonymous", I may be a fat pig despite my superior weight loss regimen, but you are an ugly prick and that cannot be changed. Who's better off?