Opinion: Microsoft Needs To Grow A Set

It's not often that I criticize my cash cow Microsoft, but the time has come to call these people out for what they are: a bunch of sniveling pussies.

This week brings the news of a Microsoft defeat in the European Union. The mother-freakin' EU! Folks, I know these people. Have I mentioned that I've been to Europe? Believe me, the wine over there ain't all on the vines. Aside from an astonishing lack of personal hygiene, a lackadaisical approach to, you know, work, and a tendency to blame everything that's wrong in the world on the United States, most of these people run to Mommy Government whenever they perceive they've been slighted.

Normally, I don't have a problem with that. But these crybabies are upset that Microsoft includes (*gasp!*) a MEDIA PLAYER with Windows.

Cry me a river, Eurotrash.

Don't get me wrong. I love Europe. I think France represents the pinnacle of civilization. Any country that doesn't have NASCAR is A-OK with me. But what makes Microsoft great is pure, unadulterated, unfettered capitalism. Well, that and the ability to abuse its monopoly power to run roughshod over the competition.

But enter the EU (apparently through Microsoft's "back door", if you get my drift). These wusses try to tell one of the most successful companies in history how to do business in their pathetic collection of rag-tag has-been states...and MICROSOFT LETS THEM GET AWAY WITH IT!

Look at this tepid response to losing this lawsuit from the software giant: "We want to move forward, in compliance with the 2004 decision."

Oh, I can see all of Europe shaking in their collective shoes. But wait, there's more!

"We have conveyed our willingness to license those technologies. As a matter of business policy and approach to the industry, we are prepared to license to others in our industry, on reasonable and nondiscriminatory terms, the technologies that are important to interoperability,"

Like I said: Pussies.

You want to know why Microsoft stock has been so stagnant for the past half-decade or so? It's because of jackasses like these clowns in the EU that want to stifle good old American-style free enterprise. It works on this side of the pond, and it'll work there too.

It's time to grow a set, Microsoft. Obviously.

Someone Should Put Music to This

I'd edit this to music myself, but my wife didn't bring her Mac Mini to France:

I Love The French

Over on the Nexus website, I wrote about the long, involved and painful process of getting my overpriced Apple iPhone running in France. I love that I'll be able to write this trip off as "research" for my upcoming EXCLUSIVE review of the iPhone.

Anyway, what I didn't tell you in that article is this: the French made a few concessions and adjustments to let me use the iPhone in their country. Since I travel here so often (and they're so happy to have me) they were thrilled to do whatever needed to be done to allow me to continue my research.

I think this was worth it:


Obviously, you can't take the elevator to the top any more, but the view was unimpressive anyway.

Hats off to Woz

Unlike that other Steve, Steve Wozniak is a class act. The guy even stood in line to get his overpriced iPhone (although to be honest, he was probably afraid King Jobs wouldn't follow through on his promise to give him one the next day).

Anyway. Apparently "The Woz" has compiled a list of features he'd like to see on the iPhone, and he plans on presenting this to His Jobsness the next time they meet. I think Wozniak has come up with the ultimate feature. According to this article, "he’d also like to display the temperature, in Celsius, on the home screen."

That's a great idea, and one I'll be sure to add this obvious missing feature to my comprehensive iPhone review on Paul Thurrott's Supersite for Windows if I ever get around to completing it. Celsius is just better, sorry. Whenever I visit France, I marvel at their sophisticated use of this temperature-measurement system. Fat Americans just don't get it, and Woz will make a huge contribution towards the betterment of this country if he can convince the other (stubborn) Steve to do the right thing.

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I'm off to France this weekend for a well-deserved break from iPhone mania. I'll report back on Monday with my travel woes and news about how much more intelligent, enlightened, and polite the French are. Obviously.

See you then.