Stating The Obvious

A few bullet points based on today's news about Steve Jobs and his leave of absence from Apple Inc.:

• Steve Jobs is a marketing genius, but a failure as a human being.
• Steve Jobs has nothing to do with the great products Apple makes, but hawks them well to unsuspecting rubes who fawn at his feet.
• Without the designers at Apple around him, Steve Jobs would be nothing more than a whiny little wannabe artist and college dropout, consigned to the dustbin of history.
• Steve Jobs has lied about his health repeatedly, both to his shareholders and his customers. His illness has clearly kept him from participating in the day-to-day operations of Apple for some time now.
• Steve Jobs contributes very little to the actual design of Apple products, the programming of their software, or the implementation of their marketing plans.

Therefore, Apple is nothing without Steve Jobs.

Obviously.

Amazing New App

While the rest of you iDiots and Druids are playing on your silly little so-called "smartphones", I'm going to be drooling over the amazing array of applications available for my magical, special and tear-inducing Windows Phone 7 phone.

Be sure to read my EXCLUSIVE! review here of the latest amazing app available for this all-new platform. It's called "Flowerz". Isn't that clever? The brilliant engineers at Microsoft spelled flowers with a Z. Magical. A sure sign of the wonders yet to come.

Take that, Apple and Google. Nothing you ofer can possibly compare to my magical, special, tear-inducing Windows Phone 7 phone. Obviously.

Financial Results That Don't Matter

So I'll have more to say about this over on The Supersite! For! Windows! later, obviously, but let me point out that just because Apple had a profitable quarter, it doesn't mean anything. The rest of the tech blogosphere won't report this, because they're all in Apple's back pocket, but since I'm the only objective journalist in all of technology, I will.

Financial results are only one way to measure a company's success.

It's more important that you have amazing magical products like the upcoming Windows Phone (which is the subject of my next book, which is being finalized as I write this) that bring tears of joy to they eyes of everyone who uses it.

Apple's VistaPhone can't do that. Just remember that when you read how "successful" Apple supposedly is, just because their sales are up and they're raking in billions. It doesn't matter. Obviously.